


May PaKellam Ako

by Apixiemolder



Series: Found in their story [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Help, Hurt/Comfort, I can only write cuddles at this point, I need help tagging, Other, it's mostly fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:28:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apixiemolder/pseuds/Apixiemolder
Summary: Short fluff drabble





	1. Chapter 1

You were lying in a field, the sounds of battle felt so near yet you hear them as soft rumbles. You barely believe your bones when they tell you that this wasn't a dream as each gallop and footfall vibrates through the ground and permeates your skin. You look to the endless clear sky and wonder not so much on how you got where you were but why.

You were with the Shepherds on a routine patrol on a border village a couple of days away from Ylisstol when a scout reports of a band of brigands gathering nearby seeking coin and provisions judging from their empty wagons. Their numbers and classes were something you all could handle but with only a couple months worth of memories, a few shelves of written knowledge, and only a handful of battles experienced, you had your doubts on whether you were up to par with your peers for this fight.

While Sumia would win in a contest of tripping over nothing, you would win second place if you weren't agile enough to right yourself up before falling half the time your feet bumps up invisible obstacles. Trying to learn about the world you're living in, keeping up with training, getting to know your comrades in and outside of battle while keeping everyone alive was a lot on your plate and the pressure was getting to you along with the sleepless nights of reading or the occasional nightmare and harrowing meals trying to get accustomed to the food. They turned to you for strategies and you would not disappoint them for in good faith that they gave you a place among despite your circumstances and so you act on their faith in you and trust them to have your back in this fight.

After a short briefing, it was decided that you would engage the brigands while the sun was still over the horizon. The objective was to take out their leader first and deal with any stranglers after. You almost matched their numbers so you didn't see the need to pair up. With their camp set up in an open field still wet from a sunshower, stealth wasn't really an option so the goal was to hit them hard and fast before they had a chance to organize themselves. And after a quick equipment check, you head out to execute the plan.

Everything was going smoothly. You were searching for their leader and spotted his second in command, an axe wielder who by the looks of them you'll have to dispatch before you can charge the former. You take note of your surroundings, carefully noting both enemies' and allies' attack range, before you quickly traversed to your opponent. A couple of steps into your path, moments before you break into a run, your feet had found an impossible stray root to trip on. You almost fall over but managed to regain your balance only to slip over the damp soil, landing on your back with a loud thud. You winced at the sharp pain you feel just below your tailbone and blooming in your butt. You were sure to see a bruise there in the morning and suddenly you feel all too tired, utterly exhausted.

Your eyes become distant as your thoughts float around questioning why you were there, why did it have to be you, why did you deserve, and any other question that might have popped up evaporated as a figure holding an axe high entered your vision plunging you back into reality. The bandit made a smug grin as he gathered his strength to decapitate you while you scramble to find your sword. He didn't have a chance to bring your demise as a javelin grazed his shoulder dropping his axe in favor of clutching his new wound as you rolled away from the fallen weapon. His grin wiped off replaced with a raged grimace, he reaches for his axe only to be cut down and finished by one sleeved blue haired swordsman.

“There are better place to-”  
“DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE.”, you cut him off with a scowl. Chrom laughs heartily at your outburst and extends his hand to help you stand. “Sorry I took it out on you even though you saved me. Thanks.” He waved his hand at your apology insisting he didn't need it. He'd used that line every time you fell and he was there to pull you up losing its novelty but to the prince, not the hilarity. You look around the battlefield starting with the newly fallen brigand trying to find the projectile that bought you time and maybe find your other savior but all you see are small victories from your comrades as the fight nears its end and orange dyeing everything as the sun started to dip in the horizon. “Ready to take out the boss?”, he asked. Tired but determined you reply, “I'm ready to go home.” The two of pair up and defeat their leader ending the battle.

You walk back to the camp with caked in mud sprinkled with blood and powdered with dull aches in your body. Despite the victory you weren't in the mood for chat and much food so after a short dinner you took a quick bath and headed straight to your tent where sleep took you as soon as you laid down.

____________________________________

You were lying in your bed roll, the sounds of morning long past as movement become more and more frequent outside your tent. You couldn't get up as you squinched with pain from your back every time you tried to. You were known to miss meals every now and them so no one hasn't come up to fetch you for breakfast despite the protests from your stomach. Even though you had incurred a great sleep debt, you body has deigned you've paid enough and won't let you slumber so you stare at the ceiling of your tent waiting for someone, anyone to find you. After a while you close your eyes once again opting to rest them after finding and seeing faces, shapes and stories in the threads and stains in your tent. You could've avoided this scenario if you had asked for help the moment you realized you were incapacitated. It was still early when you woke up. You were pretty sure Frederick would be able to assist you and there'd be few people up at that time. Still you hesitated and tried to sleep it off. Deities above why was it so hard to ask for help. It mortified you that you were hurt this badly from tripping over nothing in battle nonetheless and for to be seen this weak would've killed you.

You ignore the muffled noises of busy bodies and decide to try to get up hoping hunger will dull out the pain from your back. With a big gulp of air that had a faint smell of armor polish you lift your head bracing for pain and with a “thunk” you did but not where you expected it. Somehow you hit something hard and it was ringing along with your ears. You groan nurse the spot that would surely be a bump as the ringing subsided to be replaced by “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!” that grew louder and frantic. Finally realizing you weren't alone you open your eyes to see a knight in armor that might be a little too big for him with orange highlights on one knee profusely apologizing his armor clanking as he tried to express his sincerity through gestures along with his words. You wonder how you didn't notice him coming then again you weren't really paying attention nor were you looking. Now that you were, his flustered face was kinda cute and you couldn't help but smile at him. You bring your hand to his knee and he calms at the gesture, enough to explain himself.

“I'm really sorry if I startled you. I saw you fall in yesterday's skirmish. Though you seemed fine last night I got worried then you missed breakfast and training so I thought to check to see how you were doing. I was going to wake to wake you. I didn't mean to frighten or add injury.. I brought you something to eat though now I think you'll be needing more than food.” he sheepishly points to the basket and you nod at his offering.

“It's okay Kellam really. It's my fault for not paying attention..” Then his words dawn on you. “Wait.. You saw me trip yesterday?”,you continue sounding absolutely incredulous. “I did.” he answered while averting his gaze. You cover your face, curl up and whimper, your eyes close to tears not so much from the pain from your sudden movement but from embarrassment. “Wait, if you saw me then.. Does that mean you were the one who saved me?” You turnaround to see him wearing furrowed brows. “I believe it was Milord Chrom who rescued you.” “But you gave him time to deal with the bandit before he could hurt me. That's a big help! I was wondering who threw the javelin so I could thank them. It was you wasn't it.” He abashedly scratched his cheek and reluctantly confirmed with a nod. Your hand finds his knee once again and give it a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you for saving me. I'd probably be headless if it weren't for you.” He gave a worried smile at your last sentence that melts into a warm one as he answered. “It's really no big deal. I just like protecting people. Besides, everyone needs help sometimes. I know you'd do the same for me.”

You let his words sink in and admit your weakness. “You're right. I really appreciate and am thankful your deeds yesterday and today. We wouldn't be in this predicament if I just asked for help earlier.” You take a deep breath and let go of your worries and inhibitions to let his words take root in your heart before you continue “I'm gonna trouble you again and ask if you could help me to the healers. I don't my spine is broken or injured but the pain is disconcerting and most definitely need something bruises” You cheeks start to warm at that and you notice his has a light dusting of pink but you push through to say what you felt needed to be said aloud. “Can help me get up?” He covers your hand with his, “Sure. It'll be no trouble at all.” With that he starts helping you stand up slowly and carefully supporting your back careful of the injury. You managed to stand but a sharp pain strikes your foot making you hiss and you almost fall over if he hadn't been supporting you.

“Whoa. Are you alright? Did you get dizzy? Maybe you did hurt your spine” worry paints his face again. “No no we got up slowly thank you for that. It's my foot. I think it's sprained.” “I see. I'll have to set you down alright?” You nod and he helps you slowly sit down on your bed roll. You inspect your foot to see how severe the sprain is when you notice him taking off his armor.”W-why are you taking those off?” “I can't carry you properly if I'm wearing them and training's already over and my duty's so I won't need to wear 'em 'til later. More importantly, I don't want to accidentally hurt again with my armor.” As if on cue, your bump decided to ache and your face scrunches at the pain. You've already asked for help and he was going to give it to you. Turning him down now would make your speech a lie so you suck it up. “Ok. Just please make the trip quick.”

He put away the last of his armor in a neat enough pile in the corner of your tent, he'll come back for it later before his patrol starts. After making sure the path is clear, he scoops you up with ease but with deliberate slowness making sure you were comfortable as he moved. You couldn't help but admire the build of the man carrying you as if you weighed nothing but with the same delicacy of carrying glass statue. He catches your gaze and you quickly break away now looking anywhere but him hoping he didn't catch you staring as roses have started to blossom on your cheeks. “I'll start walking now” and with your nod of approval he makes his way to the healers tent while you buried your face in your hands wishing no one would notice you. It wasn't so bad in fact it felt cozy and from what you remembered, you've never been carried this way. Surrounded by toned muscles, supported by strong arms, you felt safe, protected and if the knight's reputation was to be believed, shielded from prying eyes.

With a little disappointment, you quickly reached the healers tent with no issues and after a thorough check up and some scolding and some treatment you were on your way to recovery. It was lunch by the time you got there and having missed breakfast already he was determined to get you a meal. You didn't want to trouble him further so you refused but as he insisted, resolute on his commitment to help you. You agreed only if you ate together and with the compromise you ate away your share much faster than he did though he didn't mind. After having too much time alone to think that morning, you start idle conversations as he finishes his meal. You found out more about your savior that afternoon as your exchanges stretched into the afternoon, his presence becoming comfort and security. Much too soon to your liking he had to leave to attend to his duties and you bid him farewell.

Your close encounter with death renewed your faith in your comrades and though at a price, you were given respite and a chance to grow as a person and grow closer to a particular comrade. As you lie in the healer's cot you wonder, why didn't you notice him sooner, why isn't anyone giving him attention and appreciation he deserved, why were you waiting for someone else to give it to him? You ponder these questions and more but you already know the answers.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183623706@N05/48575137871/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have just discovered orangecrushcrushcrush's fics and they have inspired me to draw a lil something for this coz i know this is awful and i wanna compensate with this doodle. This is my first try at writing and I'm gonna try to make a better reader insert someday [still kellam centric ofc]. Thanks for reading >w<


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin gets a migraine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Thanks for the love! I wasn't happy how I wrote the prev chapter but I need it out as springboard for the next chapters. I guess this is turning out to be their alternate support logs. Decided to use Robin name MU. I'm pretty happy how I wrote this one so the next updates are gonna be in the same format.

Kellam, being the tallest Shepherd, noticed things most would miss, things hidden in plain sight just like someone he knew. So when their tactician slipped in the battlefield, he quickly closed the distance to aid them and having helped them in the aftercare, he also became a little closer to them.

In light of the accident, a thorough examination of the strategist was prompted and was found that they were in need of glasses. It wasn't noticeable at first since they could read well enough without them but it seems their depth perception was amiss hence the frequent slip ups.

The change was immediate and though they still tripped over nothing it was no contest compared to Sumia. Now they sported round spectacles whereever they went except when they off to the bathe or off to slepp, and curiously, when they were talking to Kellam.

The two conversed whenever they had the opportunity whether through shared meals, duties or training. Each time they did, the tactician would take off their glasses and place them anywhere on themselves. Sometimes he'd see the glasses hanging from vest, in their coat pocket, held in one of their hands as they gestured through their conversations, and on some occasions, the specs lay on top of their head.

He'd ponder about this habit of theirs thinking up the reason behind it but he could never quite grasp it. It was as if the fragile glass hugged by steel was a hindrance to the tactician's view of the tall knight. Or perhaps it was like a mask they took to reveal their true face that seemed to be reserved to him as he caught the smiles that were just a little more reaching their ears, slight color dusting their cheeks that spread to their ears at times when they were caught absent minded. He had a lot time to think about this as he stood in his usual spot in camp waiting for someone to initiate conversation, since him starting one spooked the others, but ending up counting the people who missed his presence.

When he tallied enough to call it a day, he headed towards his cot. Along the way, he found a pecular item, a pair glasses lay forgotten on the ground in the middle of camp. The glasses themselves weren't strange as the familiar circle specs indicated that they undoubtedly belonged to the tactician. He knew they weren't the type to misplace things not especially their glasses which barely left their face as they'd sometimes fall asleep wearing them leaving them a bit crooked after a couple of months. They were easy to miss as the thin frame blended into the grass and it was lucky no one has stepped on them. Unease started to pool in his gut at what this meant so he picked up the fragile frame and went toward's the owner's tent hoping to find them there along with the explanation.

===========================

It had been a typical day for the tawny strategist. They were taking stock of the weapons making note of their condition as they inspected each one. They got so engrossed in the chore the rumbling of their stomach and the clawing of their dry throat go unnoticed. That was until the afternoon sun glinted off the edge of a spear and burned a white spot in their vision. They tried to blink it off but the spot had now started to twinkle. _Oh no. No no no no no..._

They tried to blink harder closing their eyelids tightly hoping they'd just imagined it. But the lightshow didn't disappear from their vision following them even as they shut their eyes. It was no use fighting the inevitable so they would have to make their way to safety and hopefully sleep off the unpleasantness.

While they still had most of their vision, they set their notes on crate remembering its place as they'll come back for it later when they were better. It was a simple task and yet it took more energy than they'd wanted as they felt blood drainging from their face, the air becoming too thin, the smell of metal and polish suddenly overbearing and everything even the faint weight of their glasses turning into too much of a burden as they took it off their face barely clutching it one hand while they used free hand to drill into their temple with their knuckles to dull out the pain building in their head.

They fought back the nausea that was aggrevated by their quick pace out of the armory. The healer's tent was further from where they were so they opted to go straight to their tent. They could go to any of the other Shepherds tent to get relief sooner and their reason for intrusion explained later but with queasiness worsening, they didn't want to dirty anyone's quarters on top of intruding it. Their stomach seemed to respond to unsavory thought as it threatened to empty whatever little contents it had stopping their march and clasping their mouth forcefully to prevent it. Their limbs had begun numb and they knew they had little time left before they'd no longer be useful.

After taking a short moment to breathe, they made haste towards their quarters with their vision quickly losing to the starlight, their fingers land toes losing feeling and a hand losing its fragile item.

===========================

Kellam found his way to the tactician's tent and announced his presence at the entrance.

“Hello? Robin are you there?” upon which he was only greeted with grunts that he took as an invitation inside as his worry started to cement. He'd try to call out again inside in case they didn't notice him. It was easier to apologize for trespassing than to remedy an emergency by overlooking it.

“Hey Robin I found-” his words cut off by what he saw.

Robin was curled up on themselves, skin too many shades paler, breathing like a fish gasping air, fumbling through their coat's buttons as it seemed their hands lost dexterity. Panic started to claim Kellam as he reached for their arm. They caught the familiar presence in their tent and turned to face him. Their disagreeing with the action as nausea hit them hard and they doubled over using a hand to keep their mouth to stop themselves from gagging, all while the other hand gripped Kellam's wrist tightly to ground themselves.

“What's wrong? How can I help? Should I call for Lissa?” he said all too quickly as his patience wore thin. Robin's hand the only thing stopping him from bolting for the healers right then and there.

They swallowed hard, painful as the acidic fluid burned their throat. After a couple of deep breaths, their hand slowly drifted away from mouth and the other easing its grip they managed to reply weakly.

“..M.migraine. 'm fine... just need to loosen clothes. I can sleep it off.”

“Are you sure? You don't want me to call for healers?”

They could only hum in reply as moving their head proved disastrous and talking took too much effort.

With their approval, he set down their glasses on their table and carefully helped them out of their coat and loosen their clothes, taking out their boots that dragged dirt into their cot. He then some discarded parchment and make a fan to cool down the afternoon heat. He'd make sure Robin was as comfortable as possible.

It seemed to work as their breath evened out and their brows furrowed less. Even though they hadn't opened their eyes, they knew who was beside them. His company was soothing. As their migraine finally relented its attack, sleep took its hold on them.

The knight watched diligently as they slumbered into a dreamless sleep no doubt. He knew because they had talked about their migraine attacks which seemed to have increased in frequency as of late. But this was his first time to see it as it happened. He knew there was nothing he could do to stop the attacks but there was something he could do to prevent misplaced belongings.

____________________________________

Robin was reading under the shade of a tree a short walk from town. They wanted a change of scenery as the green meadows did good to their tired eyes that eagerly read each sentence of the novel at hand. The ambient sounds of grass and leaves rustling made good music to read. It was faint but new notes started to join the background music. Metal hitting metal in a constant rhythm, tinkling a familiar tune they knew all too well as they took off their glasses to take in the new sight.

“Hello Kellam. Wanna hang out here?”

“Sure.”

He joined them in the shade and sat in comfortable silence with Robin leaning into him as he settled down. The spectacles nested in their hair held his interest while the other resumed their reading. After a while they broke the silence buckling under the worried stare.

“Thank you for taking care of me the other day. I'm so sorry you had to see that and for the trouble I caused but you don't have to worry about me having a migraine attack for a couple weeks. They don't happen in quick successions. I really appreciate your help and concern though.” they spoke calmly as they closed their eyes along with their book and reopening the former to face the knight. They also gave him a reassuring smile hoping to put him at ease.

“It was nothing. I'm used to taking care of people though that was my encounter with migraines. I don't think I did much though and from the sounds of it I couldn't much either.”, deflating as the words left.

Even while sitting he was still taller than them and yet at the moment he felt so small. The spectacle troubled them greatly.

“While that's true, you shouldn't downplay yourself either. It may not seem much to you but meant a lot to me that you stayed until I was okay. You even kept my glasses safe. I didn't even know I dropped them. If you hadn't found they might've gotten stepped on and it'll take weeks to get a replacement. That means dealing with slip ups again and we don't want that” They rubbed their back remembering the pain of the last time they tripped. A small chuckle escaped his lips at the last comment and they smiled a little bit wider at the sound.

“We definitely don't want that. They're really easy to miss. And I guess you're right. I should myself some credit for that.” he smiles sheepishly.

“ Since we're talking about glasses I have something for you. I actually came to give you this.” handing Robin a pouch. “I didn't want to disturb your peace so I was waiting for the right chance to bring it up without reminding you of your migraine. Here, I want you to have this. Now you can put away your glasses safely whenever you need to take them off.”

They examine the small leather bag. It was the perfect size to contain the specs, the leather was stiff enough to protect its contents while the interior was soft gurranteeing no scratches. Its drawsting had a festive orange color to match the dark tan of the leather.

“This is such a thoughtful and lovely gift Kellam! How can I thank you?”

“You don't have to thank me. I just want to help however I can.” a blush blooming on his cheeks.

“I'm really grateful for it. Do you mind if I test it out?”

He gave a nod of approval in response.

So they took their glasses from their perch and promptly place them inside the bag. Satisfied with snugness, they pulled the drawstring and tied it securely to their belt. After a twirl, a couple of jumps and a quick sprint around the tree, it clinged onto its owner and kept its treasure safe.

They sat back down beside him, their head leaning onto his shoulder. With a quiet breath, they gave him their thanks and took out their book to continue reading.

He looked at them with a satisfied smile and patted their head where glasses used to sit.

“You're welcome.”

The spent the rest of the afternoon shaded from the sun but basking in each other's presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved the flow while writing but it was painful churning out details for the migraine coz I can't read/write about migraines w/o feeling nauseous coz thinking about it physically affects me. I admire the way some fics describe the attacks and how similar they are to mine and wanted to contribute based on my experience. I'm actually terrified of my migraine hahaha. My hands and arm started to hurt for a couple of days so had free time to write. But now the fatigue piled up and I gotta rest for real. *chuckles* I'm in pain.
> 
> I don't know when I can update again but hope you guys enjoyed this entry!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've reached A-Support!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love!!! I apologize in advance coz my show not tell game is off. I'm used to drawing it out instead of writing. >< I was supposed to make a gag comic based on ch 2 but I'm having bad wrist and shoulder pain so i can't do merch or draw for vent/fun. I guess all that pent up energy came out through this since I can still type for now... Hope you guys enjoy!

It was an intense battle. Robin's glasses cracked from an arrow that almost took out their left eye. The Sheperds were retreating from Plegia and they kept a close on their best friend who seemed intent on annihilating every enemy in sight.

Keep moving. 

They deflected a spear aimed at their side. 

Keep moving. 

Chrom slashed at a mage and they fired a thunder spell to finish the kill.

Keep moving forward. 

They kept chanting these words to keep themselves on task. Their mind kept looking back, refreshing the vision of falling golden hair, raining arrows, haunting faces of royals, friends and soldiers. They wanted to grieve with them but they knew what had to be done. Keep everyone alive to fight another. Keep moving.

Once the enemy ranks have been thinned enough to continue their retreat, they would be crossing the border soon. They surveyed the battlefield, the crack in the spectacles wasn't as much of a hindrance as it was an annoyance. The final tally of moving heads a handful short with what they started. Among the missing was a knight with orange streaked armor. Shit.

“Frederick continue with the march, keep an eye on Chrom, especially on him. I need to relay commands.”

The stoic knight agreed and went to his lord while they gathered the rest cavalier, a few troubadour and an injured taguel before their shouted the commands.

“We're missing a few people and I want you to search for them and carry them with you if you must. We're not leaving not one more person than we already have.” 

They quickly approached Panne afterwards holding out a couple of vulnaries. 

“I'm sorry to ask this of you even though you're wounded. Hope these'll help.”

“I'm injured not invalid. Otherwise you would have sent me ahead manspawn. But I will do as you ask. These people have become important to me as well and I'd rather not live with regret now that I have the strength to help them.” 

“You have my gratitude.” With one last lingering look at their surroundings they headed towards the front to lead the march home, leaving behind the group to accomplish their task. They desperately wanted to turn back and do the search themselves but they had to trust the group in finding everyone. They shook their to correct their thoughts. They trusted them to find everyone. They would have faith in them. Worry and frustration gnawed at them but they bit their lip to hold their feelings down. They were needed more elsewhere and they knew what to do. Keep moving forward.

===========================

Kellam was at the sidelines fending off archer attacks barely noticed by the others when he saw reinforcements coming in from the east. He tried calling for backup but his cries were left unanswered save for a couple of birds who flew away at the noise. The enemy still haven't noticed him despite the racket he made so he'd decide take up arms and become an invisible shield.

For a while it worked, he took down a couple of mounted soldiers. An arrow bounced off his shield, then another.

“They saw me...” 

He quickly went on defensive as they tried to take him down. The focused attacks finally drew the attention of those nearby who quickly went to his aide. They barely triumphed but they were left exhausted, wounded and unable to rejoin the main battle.

Kellam held out as long as he could but an ax had managed to break his armor and cut his side. He downed a vulnary to help ease the pain and start the healing but with proper aid the bleeding would continue. No vigor granted by the liquid could outmatch the fatigue he already had and the effects of blood loss beginning to set. All he could do was stay awake until help arrived.

“Is this...it? I wonder if..anyone will notice...I'm gone...” 

He was feeling more and more tired, the pain numbing 'til he could barely feel anything at all. Sleep was starting to feel more and more tempting. Why was he awake again? As his eyelids became too heavy to lift, something large fills their visions but he was too drowsy to take a better look. For now, he would slumber. 

===========================

The group, including the missing now accounted for, finally made it to safety and have setup camp to heal and recuperate for the march back to the capital. Robin had kept themselves busy from consoling the royal siblings, friends and soldiers, preparing their route, checking their supply, every little thing except visiting the healer's tent until they could no longer delay the last assignment.

It was nightfall when they approached the tent. They clenched their fists, their face neutral though their stomach was turning with guilt the only thing filling it as they walked in. All the beds were taken as the injured and medics filled the tent. Some were more seriously hurt than others but everyone was alive, a miracle much appreciated. 

Maribelle hands out the medical reports to them.

“Everyone's stable but we'll need someone to keep watch to give the few serious ones some tonic to speed up their recovery when they wake up.”

“I'll take first watch then so you can go to Lissa.”

She looked at the disheveled tactician with the cracked glasses and gave them a disapproving shake of her head.

“Dear, you need sleep. Rest up you've earned it.”

“This isn't the first time I've lost sleep and it certainly won't be the last. Tonight however is critical. I've done my part for Chrom and he has someone to pick up where I left of. But Lissa has few, mostly you. She needs you. We both know it.”

She took a moment to consider the proposal and sighed at her inevitable acceptance. 

“ Alright you've made your point. I'll go but don't blame me if you collapse in here! You've got nowhere to sleep on so make sure keep awake or find someone else to fill in for you.”

They waved her goodbye and their easy smile quickly faded once she left as they prepared the tonics, settling on a chair to keep vigil. They kept their eyes glued to the floor opting to listen to signs of stirring instead. 

The sight of their friends bloodied and in bed was too much for them. Robin had been having dreams of their friends dying lately, killed by their own hands or by claws and teeth. The image of their weakened friends lying in bed overlapped too much with the dreams. So they closed their eyes trying to will away the visions.

Much to their chagrin it doesn't work so they open their eyes and lead them to their hands. They noticed they still wearing gloves caked in grime and red, along with their coat, the crimson from their enemies but it might as well be from their allies as they commanded them to fight.. They frowned at the sight. If they were to tend to the patients they had clean off their hands and arms. With a short a sigh they moved to the nearest wash bin, took off their coat and discarded their gloves. 

They started cleaning their hands then up to their elbow, washing away the day's stains on their skin colored like the sands of the dessert they left. The purple mark on their hand matches the bruises on some of their comrades, a bleeding they can't wash away or remedy. The color tinting the eyes on their coat and nightmares. They lift their fractured glasses to the top of their head and splash water over their visage. They wash their face trying to break away from that train of thought. Once again closing their eyes, they drag their hands slowly down their features. It was going to be a long night.

Robin sat quietly in the tent. Their coat remained draped over their shoulders as the night was a little chilly with their glasses back on their face. Though they were still, their mind was racing. It would show in the way their hands fidgeted, opening and closing adjusting and readjusting their specs. 

They felt so many emotions at the same time but their face wouldn't betray it. Though their eyes burned with a fire that was threatening to consume them. It was fueled by fear, anger, worry, confusion, and most of all guilt. Their body trying to extinguish it with tears but they blinked them away. There'd be time for that later, now they would do what was needed, what kept them alive. Keep moving.

They break away from their pensive mood when they hear movement from one of the beds. They went to that bed and prepared the concoction noting in the report the time and status and did the same for the rest of patients that required special attention, all the while keeping a straight face. Everyone on Maribelle's list had taken their tonic except for the one lying on the bed edge of the tent, Kellam.

Robin rubbed their temples feeling the headache from being awake for longer than anyone should and lifted their chair to wait beside Kellam's bed. It was no use sitting in the middle knowing only one last patient required their time. Once settled down, they held the bottle of medicine in their hands while the floor held their gaze. They thoughts finding their way back to what transpired that day.

It was an oversight that they didn't have someone to pair up with Kellam, an oversight that only Panne and Nowi could detect him, an oversight that they didn't brace for reinforcements, an oversight that they didn't expect nor prevent the exalt's sacrifice, an oversight that they could be trust-

Kellam stirs from his sleep. His peaceful face now turning to a pained one no doubt feeling their injury. But they wouldn't notice as they did the motions the same way they did for the others.

“How are you?”  
“Mm.. Alive I guess. Hahaha” trying to lift up the mood.

Robin only gave a nod then jot notes for the medical report, still not making eye contact focusing on their task. Kellam noticed how drained they were. Their face was devoid of emotions and the color paler. The glasses resting on the bridge of their nose cracked and he had no doubt they'd tell a worrying story.

“Can you sit up? I need you to drink this.”  
He gave them a yes then sat up with their assistance. He drank the tonic and watched Robin clear out his bed with concern.

“Hey Robin, are you...ok?”

“I'll be better.” 

Their answer gained a skeptic look from Kellam as they moved to pick up their chair next. Or would have moved if their world hadn't suddenly shifted with their knees failing them and their vision going dark. 

Kellam was about to ask again when he saw them toppling over, eyes closing. He quickly grabbed their arm, the action jolting its owner awake and making him wince at the force.

Robin took in air in quick successions. Even though they blacked out for only a couple of seconds they felt like their soul left their body and was forcefully pulled back. Their senses slowly coming back to them and they feel the strength of the arm holding them in place.  
Kellam saw the discomfort in Robin's face and slowly let go of their arm.

“Good thing I caught you. Are you al-”  
“I'm sorry.” Keep moving. “I'm sorry.” Keep moving.  
Robin kept muttering apologies under panic breaths. They had to go. Keep moving. They'd need to find someone to replace her duty here. They'd clean up the mess they made later. Right now they had to keep moving.

Kellam grabbed Robin's hand and managed to stop them before they bolted off. He wasn't going to let them leave in that state. He ponders how upset they got over spilled papers and a broken bottle with their coat in the mix. 

He spoke softly. “Hey calm down. It's alright. It's just papers and glass. They're used up anyway so it's no big deal. Come on Robin lift your head.”  
They abide finally turning to face them. Their eyes wide in horror and glassy with tears behind the fractured spectacles.  
Now that their eyes met, Kellam could see Robin's bloodshot eyes and the darkness of the semi-circles underneath. A contrast to their face, several shades paler. Their panic doesn't cease as they start their apologies once again and try to move away slowly without breaking their gaze.

“I'm sorry.” Keep moving. Robin saw the full extent of Kellam's injuries. “I have to clean this up.” They saw the tall strong though oft forgotten knight battered and weakened, covered in bandages with purple peeking through some places. “I-I have to fix. I can fix this.” Keep moving. The image overlapping with their dreams only they wore broken armor when they saw them in their sleep. “I have to... I have to go.” Keep moving.

Kellam's chest tightened at what he saw. Their tactician who usually stood firm and spoke with sureness was now deflated without their coat that fell to the tent floor, shaking beneath their touch; barely able to get their words out. He spoke slowly and calmly. 

“ Robin it's ok.”  
“No it's not and it's my fault.”  
“Look it isn't that bad. No one got hurt alright?”

“You got hurt Kellam! They got hurt! This is a mess. Everything's a mess. And it's all my fault. It's my fault she died. They died. There's so much blood on my hands.” Their breathing picks up again and they clutch their arms trying to hold themself together. They wanted keep it all in but it was now spilling over. They closed their eyes and let tears fall from them.“Fighting and strageties are what I woke up to, what I go through, what I'm good at. Or so I thought because all I've been doing was sending people to their deaths, not just our foes but comrades as well. But it's all I know, if I'm not a tactician then who am I? So I'll do what I only know to do fix this. I need to. I have to. What else is there for me?” 

“You're books and reading. In fact you love reading so much you've even learned to read people. That's how you made comrades, friends, sisters, brothers out of the people around you. How you fit in and made a place with the Sheperds. Did Chrom trust when he found you on the fields because he knew who you were or what you were capable of?”

“No. He just found me and deemed me trustworthy.” Robin still kept their head low, tears still flowing. Biting their lips not to let the sobs escape.

“That's right! He took you in despite your background or lack of it. He trusted you because you were you. You don't have to be anything else. You don't have to be a strategist or a soldier if you don't want to. I'm sure Chrom would understand.”

“But I want to. I have to. Because I know how to fix this. It's just that I'm terrified of making another huge mistake. My mistakes cost lives Kellam!” their voice hitching at the last words.

“Listen Robin,” Kellam places his hands on their shoulders. “So you've failed, but who hasn't. We all make mistakes. You're not some seer or god who can have predict and plan out for everything. You're human. But this is war and war doesn't choose its victims. You've done so well keeping us safe through it all. Your role carries a heavy burden but you don't have to bear it alone. You have me. Us. We're here for you. Though you've only been with us for a short time, you've become important, become family. So just do what you have to do. We'll respect your decision.”

Robin looks at Kellam tenderly. Tears still trailing from their eyes but stained with a little less sadness and a little more relief. They don't fight the urge that's bubbling in the chest and move to hug the injured but sturdy man in front of them. Locking him in a tight embrace but taking care not to hurt his wounds. He returns the gesture and begins to rub circles on their back soothing the tired tawny tactician further. They rest their head on the crook of his neck, letting their tears flow. Not minding the glasses pressed against the other's skin.

“How can you have so much faith in me?”  
He chuckles. “I just do. It's what anyone would've done.”  
Robin's eyelids become heavy, made more tired from the crying. They could no longer keep them open so they shut them. “I don't know if anyone else would talk me down the same way but I'm glad it was you. Thank you.” 

Kellam blushes at their words. Heat rising to their face hoping Robin wouldn't notice how fast his heart was beating. Suddenly aware of how much contact was shared between them. His mind blanks at what to say to them but try to reply anyway to distract them from his quickened pulse and growing heat.

“Hey, you know you can-” He's stopped by a soft snore coming from his neck. He notices how slack Robin's become as they fell asleep in his arms. He probably couldn't wake them knowing how tired they were and he couldn't carry them to their tent so they could have proper sleep. Even if he could move them within the tent, all the beds were taken. He lets out a small sigh but their lips rest in a small smile. This wasn't the first he'd carry or in this case drag Robin and he felt this wouldn't be the last though he didn't really mind.

He moves carefully, one hand balancing the sleeping body while the other took off their boots. He then takes off the fractured glasses placing them on the chair. He'd asked Miriel later if she knew any spells for repairing spectacles. He then gently lifts them and lays them on the side of the bed next to the tent wall so they wouldn't fall. Once he's satisfied with their position, he lies down on his side with his back against the wall so he wouldn't put pressure on his injury then drifts to sleep. 

____________________________________

Robin stirs as they felt sleep leaving them slowly. They had a love-hate relationship with their body clock as it woke them early regardless of how much sleep they had. They keep their eyes shut hoping to get back to sleep but the warmth radiating from the canvas told them it was time to rise. Warmer still was the body in front of them moving to slow steady breaths. They opened their eyes to skin peeking through bandages that must've loosened in sleeps' scuffle. Their eyes widen when they realize where they were. 

They take in deep breaths to calm themselves and their nose takes in the smell of medicine, metal and mettle. The night or what was left of it when they passed out must have been cold so their body sought out warmth. Heat rising to their face undoubtedly coloring their cheeks and the tip of their ears darker. Now very convinced that they had to get up, they slowly pull away the sheet covering them and carefully stepping over the sleeping knight until both feet hit the floor. The sound of broken glass crunching beneath their coat greeted them and they wince at the noise. They checked if it had woken any of the patients in the tent and let out a breath they were holding confirm everyone was still asleep. Heat returning in fervor as they remembered what they had woken up to and the thought of someone seeing them sleeping together in such a crowd flustered them further. 

The put on their boots and cleaned up the mess the made. They carry their coat with them thankful for its thickness that protected their feet from the shards that now needed a thorough washing. They check the warm body they shared the bed with and brush some of his hair obstructing his eyes. They take a moment admire his features. They didn't understand how someone of his stature and build would have so little presence. But it didn't really matter because they would find a way to make people notice him. A plan was beginning to form in their head, letters to be sent, conversations to be had, words to be written, songs to be sung, treasures to be sought. They were going to rectify their mistakes and make haste what they schemed when they had been first cared for by the knight.

Heat not just from embarrassment stuck to Robin as they left the healer's tent and made their way to their. It was still early in the morning so only a few eyes saw them on their path. Their mind was preoccupied plans and designs for this war as they entered their tent. Unfortunately they would have to delay these schemes as they are forced to stay in their quarters to rest and recover from the fever they had gotten from overexerting themselves. Maribelle gave them an earful and their lips a mouthful of concoction. Even through the haze of sickness they felt a cool calmness set in their heart. They knew what must be done. End this war and keep moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I've posted so far ahahaha I swear these were shorter in my head but they spill out longer when i type them. I hit a block halfway through coz i had a hard time writing Kellam when all we're given is crumbs. I wrote him here with faith as his virtue. I realize i am bad at writing developing relationships and prefer established relationship but here we are and i might as well finish what i started

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you're reading wow uhmm thanks for reading!!! It's almost 4am and i don't know how to tag or what notes to add hahaha. I'm really sorry if its wordy it's my first fic so I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I just really wanna add more Kellam content *cries* But I will write more later this year hopefully... Anyways thanks for your time!


End file.
